no friendsHaving no friends in our greedy and selfish time is an absolutely normal situation. In the age of financial championship, everyone strives to earn as much money as possible. An average man spends most of his time thinking and considering about possible ways to make more money. People have no time to think about friends or other similar relationship. I am not communizing the whole population of the world. I am talking about an average American or European citizen. People in Asia and Latin America are less concerned about their financial status because they have other values. A full-time business is not the only reason why you have no friends. There are dozens of other significant reasons that make you lonely. How many friends do you have? A hundred, fifty, ten, eight, five or you don’t have any friends? If you have no friends do not be stressed and depressed because there are several external reasons why you have no friends. Let me list you some of them.

1)YOU DON’T LIKE YOUR SOCIETY

This is a very significant reason for having no friends. If you live in multinational cities like New York, Tokyo, Paris, Berlin, Dubai, you may find yourself people of any preferred cultures and nationalities. You can befriend with white, black, Afro-American, Latin, Asian, Arab or any other groups of people. Living in such crowded cities gives you a variety of possible choices and options. Being a citizen of a multicultural city does not give you any justification to say that you don’t like the society  and the community of your city. There are people of all kinds, religions, cultures, races, and you surely have a great variety to choose yourself, friends.

Living in a mono-national city puts you in another situation. Living in a city which consists of a single nation, culture and religion can be extremely difficult for open-minded people. In such cities, you may not be able to find yourself, friends. In this occasion, you have a right to say that you don’t like the society. You have no choice and if you don’t like the nation of your city you won’t like the whole society. So can you befriend someone you hate and dislike? No, it is impossible. You have more chances to become an enemy of such person.  I have been in this situation and I understand its disadvantages. I know one German professor who has several Ph.D. grades in different respectable universities of the Europe. I had an opportunity to work with him in one project. He told me about his experience of working in Afghanistan. He really hated working in that country but he had no choice. So let us ask ourselves will such an educated and cultural person as this professor have any friends in such country like Afghanistan. The society did not fit his personality and he was predestined to be lonely in that country. It is absolutely normal if you don’t like your society and you don’t want to befriend anyone.

2)YOU HAVE NO TIME FOR FRIENDSHIP

I know what does business mean and I know how it may not leave you any time to make another activity. Friendship is your responsibility. In order to be a friend of someone, you need to be responsible. You have to spend some time with your friends, communicate with them, visit different playgrounds and pay attention to their problems. Every close human relationship makes you responsible. So what if you are fully busy with your new project or business and you don’t have even a single hour to dedicate it to your friends? Usually, when we do not communicate with our friends during a long period of time they may merely forget about you. Thus, your friendship may be destroyed. Communication must be regular. Otherwise, it is very easy to lose any relationship.  Having no time for friendship is a common reason for having no friends and it is not weird.

3) YOU ARE SELFISH AND EXTREMELY PREOCUPPIED WITH YOUR OWN PROBLEMS  

 Being selfish is common in our age and I never get amazed when I see someone extremely selfish. It is quite understandable because every one of us needs money and money is the thing which is always associated with a lack. Therefore people strive to spend all of their time to become richer and more successful. American and European communities are societies of financial competition. Everyone competes in this long championship. It is normal to have no friends in this difficult race. Can you befriend someone you compete and try to outrun? We don’t want to be equal because we want to be leaders. Every person is associated with a competition. Everyone is expected to be your potential rival. Having no friends in such competitive community is a  normal situation.

You may be one of these people who wants to become the richest and the most successful. In this psychological condition, you may have no a single motivation to have friends. You can have friends who will help you to achieve your personal goals and ambitions. People may see that you want success, you don’t need to have any friends and therefore they do not try to befriend with you. If this is your current situation, you can easily get rid of your loneliness if you want.   

You do not need to have any friends if you don’t need them. Don’t befriend someone just because all people have friends and it is weird to have no friends. If you do not feel any sympathy for people from your own society, then do not force yourself communicating with them.  Having no friends is an absolutely normal situation. 

  

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Written by BAHTIYAR