real friendsIt is very popular nowadays to have as many friends as possible. You are more respected when you have hundreds or sometimes even thousands of friends. Introversive people are treated as weird and closed people. The problem is that extroverts do not understand introverts. Introverts are wiser, more discerning and they understand that it is impossible to have hundreds of real friends. You may have hundred people whom you expect to be your friends, but it is a virtual reality which you imagine in your mind. Introverts are too smart to believe that a person is their real friend.

Look at yourself. How many friends do you have? You may think that you have fifty, sixty or even more friends. If you think so, let us make a detailed analysis in order to identify whether these people are your real friends or not. 

1) THE DAYS WHEN YOU HAVE PROBLEMS

If you are a successful person with six figure salary, you drive a Ferrari and live in a mansion, you have great chances to have hundreds or even thousands of friends. Who does want to befriend with Bill Gates? I think almost everyone wants to become a friend of Bill Gates. But why? Just because Bill Gates is the richest person in the world. This is the only reason why people love and respect him. Of course, there are other reasons why Bill Gates deserves to be respected but the main reason why people adore him is his wealth. Usually, we love someone who has attributes and features which we  want to have ourselves. If you want to become rich, you will love every rich personality. If you want to become famous, you will adore celebrities. If you want to have a big breast or a butt, you will probably like Pamella Anderson and Jennifer Lopez. Our love compensates our frustration. Why are teenagers more inclined to become someone’s fans? They do so because their psychics is not mature and they have very low self-estimation. They see some famous, self-confident celebrities and find in them things that are absent in their own personalities. The main reason why you want to befriend with Bill Gates is because yu are financially motivated. You don’t want to become his friend just because you wish him a good life and you want to support him in his life problems. So can this type of friendship be considered as a real friendship? I think you all understand what I want to tell you. Usually, people have different aims and motivations to become your friends. When you are successful and rich everyone wants to be with you and share your fortune. It is a clear thing. But how often do we seriously consider it?

The best way to identify sincerity of your friends is to look at their behavior in the days when you have troubles. How many of your friends support you when you have problems? How many of them will visit you and give you some moral support when you are in a difficult situation? If you claim to have a hundred friends, I strongly doubt that these people will remain to be your friends after you lose all your fortune. No one wants to have any communication with you if you will lose your money or get imprisoned. These hundred people will get rid of their envy when they hear about your problematic situations. Those friends who are attentive to you in the days of your troubles may be considered as real friends. Do not think that people who visit your birthday party in Las Vegas are your real friends. Every one of use love and enjoy parties. If my enemy invites me to a party which will be carried out somewhere in Miami, Monte Carlo, Paris or somewhere else, I will surely visit this party and enjoy my time. I don’t care whether this person is my enemy. The most important thing is that I will enjoy my time in that party. So when you invite someone to your party, birthday , wedding or some other happy events, everyone will come and make some show-off. When your situation and financial status changes, you will see that there are no friends anymore. No one wants to have any connections with you to any further extent. In difficult and trouble days you can easily check your friends sincerity. I do not advice to continue your friendship with people who forget about you when you have problems. These people are not your real friends. Show them the same attitude which they show you and forget about them. 

2) THE LEVEL OF SELFISHNESS 

Selfish people are incapable of friendship. What are the main idea and the key thought of every selfish person? This idea is his EGO. The main life purpose of every selfish personality is to satisfy his egoism and ambitions. These people may not even need to have any friends. Egoistic people need friends only if their friendship helps them to achieve their goals. A selfish person always thinks about himself and never cares about other people.  At the same time, all people are selfish but the level of this feature differs from person to person. There may be people who have less selfishness than other people. Some of the selfish persons are able to befriend with others. Look at the level of selfishness your friends have and try to identify whether they are capable of being your real friends or not. If you see a person who adores himself and sometimes even forgets about his closest relatives, do not hope that this person can become your real friend. It is absolutely impossible. Narcissistic people love themselves, and even if the whole world is destroyed they don’t care about it as long as they are happy and satisfied. Try to be wiser in order to identify this feature with your friends. A selfish person always wants to be the first and outrun everyone else. Such people usually don’t have any friends because they spend most of their time to be the most successful in the area of their daily business activity. These people may be very hard working and dedicate twelve or even more hours of their daily lifetime to achieve their personal career goals. They don’t need friends.  

I think almost everyone understands why usually an introvert doesn’t have any friends. The main reason of their loneliness is their deep wisdom and insight. Introverts are very good psychologists. They easily identify different types of personalities. Introverts do not wish to have fake friends who will forget about them in days of great troubles.  Therefore no one has a right to blame introverts for being weird, lonely, and closed people. Introverts are very strong psychologists and they do not allow someone with selfish and greedy ambitions to approach them. The main reason why you do not understand introverts is because you are less smarter than them and you cannot see things wich are visible for every introvert.

In days of troubles, I find out that my mother is my closest friend. Mothers are true and honest friends of their children. Your mother does not wish anything from you and she won’t forget about you when you are put in different problematic situations and occasion. 

Be wiser. Never pay attention to the quantity of friends you have. The quality is the most important factor. Having one honest and very sincere friend is better than having thousands of fake friends who know and remember you only when you are successful.  

RELATED POSTS

Written by BAHTIYAR